Unblocking Kindness

We all block kindness at times, moments when we are paying attention to something else, allowing that something else to take our attention off of the opportunity to be fully kind. But so what? Isn’t this a world where everyone can just take care of themselves?

We are in world-wide challenging times, and we all need each other.

• Moments of kindness support others’ experience of safety and well-being. This base allows others to better deal with emotions and stress.

• Consciously being compassionate toward others also strengthens our own “compassion muscle.” We need that skill for how we treat others and ourselves, making the world an easier place to manage for all involved.

• Kindness is also a moment of connection, yes brief, but connection nonetheless. Connection is an essential part of our lives. It is the holding environment for coping, whether that is a family member, a friend, or a professional relationship. Connection makes these times easier and more manageable.

And we all slip. The secret is to catch it. Let me tell you a story about my maternal grandmother. She had a network of friends, and one of those friends called her to talk about something upsetting. My grandmother picked up the phone and “listened” while she kept her soap opera on. After she got off the phone, she realized that she was not fully present with the friend because she was also listening to her TV program, and at that point decided to stop watching soap operas.

What I admire about her wasn’t that she totally gave up her TV program, but that she was aware of how her distraction blocked the kindness she wanted to offer and did something to make it different. Awareness is essential because it can help us decide how we want to shift so we can be fully kind, in this case to be fully present with her friend.

How can we be aware of how we block kindness?

• Clarify your intentions in life, especially how you want to treat others.

• Learn to watch your actions. Simply be curious; lean in without criticism.

• When you see something you want to change, create an intent to change one small thing.

This is not about being perfect, but about making an intent to move in the direction. I am working on this as well and try to catch myself. The other day, after not letting another car in front of me who needed to turn into heavy traffic, I decided I am never in too much of a hurry offer this act of kindness. What is important to you, and how do you want to change to add more kindness into the world?

Please join me in the audio below, and let’s walk through this together.

I would love to know your thoughts and any ideas you have for future posts.

Warmly,

Pamela